Wednesday, December 31st, 2008
|
|
4:15 am - Hi there
|
I've noticed recently that I have a problem killing things. As in, I CAN'T. I'm talking about bugs, specifically. I'm pretty sure I didn't used to have a problem smacking a fly that was bothering me. But now I just can't do it. It makes me feel guilty. I feel like I'm picking on something weaker than me. This does not apply to spiders. I hate those things. But I only kill them when they are physically in my apartment. I have this theory that by doing that, according to my understanding of Darwin's theory, the only ones that survive to pass on genes will be the ones that live outside. So through some sort of genetic memory, their offspring will learn to stay the fuck out of my apartment. I understand that the 5 or so I kill a year won't do much. But this is my rationalization, so I'll stick with it. The reason I bring up this newfangled anti-bug-killing outlook is that I just entered a new stage. Part of my thing is that I won't kill a bug I see, but I also won't help it. That is, until 10 minutes ago. There's been a small house fly around my shower for the past couple days. Usually if I leave a bug alone for a day or so, it goes wherever bugs go when I ignore them. This one didn't. It just stuck around. At first it flew around. But recently it's just been kinda walking around the walls. I was getting ready for bed and I noticed it and thought that it sure has been here for awhile. I figured if I didn't take it outside it would probably just die here, in my bathroom. I briefly wondered if it would be my fault it died? I dunno. But either way, I took a glass, captured it, and let it go outside. As soon as I did that, it started to snow. The whole thing was surreal in a way. Saving a stupid bug and then it snowing. It was obviously meaningless, but it meant enough to me to want to write it down here. I guess what it was, is that it isn't snowing hard. It'll be gone by the time I go out tomorrow, so I never would have known it snowed if I hadn't gone outside now (at 4am). It's been so rare for me to see snow these past couple years with me being in school in Florida, then work in LA, and now teaching here in Japan. I'm finally in a place that gets cold enough for snow. But I think I'm rambling at this point.
I had been looking through my old entries tonight for whatever reason. I was so emo back then! I kinda miss being like that :). Thinking this way could've had a hand in me posting this. I would also write my weirdest, rambling, emo entries late at night. Yunno, like after 4am.
Goodnight everyone!
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings
|
|
|
|
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
|
|
2:41 am - There are letters that make up words that follow this:
|
Haven't done this in awhile. I'm still Joe. I'm living in LA now. A great place. I'd say I miss Jersey, but I'd be lying. Though there are friends I miss. And of course my family. But the place itself... I dunno. I miss Wawa I guess. Well, I don't MISS it. I just wish they were out here. Instead we have 7-11s. But they're shifty places, not fit for the likes of a south Jersey boy who is aware of better (and more convenient) convenience stores.
I must be 15 in my main profile pic. Damn. That was a long time ago. I see I messed around with it in Photoshop to make it all blue and "edgy". Good thing too, messing around with Photoshop all those years really, really paid off out here.
I design covers for DVDs.
Sometimes.
In reality I usually just print the labels on DVDs that someone else made.
But sometimes...
I make them. And I show what I can do. And there are those that are impressed and realize that I'm not just here to pay the bills.
Though I do have bills to pay.
But in reality I want to move up. DVD authoring. Editing. Avid... Composer, Symphony.
And those above me know this.
I got employee of the month.
Big deal, right?
It is to the lowly.
And I am one of the lowly.
People on my level don't get employee of the month.
In actuality they don't call me "employee" of the month.
That sounds... common.
I'm an "associate."
ASSOCIATE of the month.
Just work hard, and even in the most entry level position you'll be noticed.
And become known as an associate.
And be given a $25 gift certificate to the movies.
And your name will be put in the weekly employee newsletter.
How novel!
But movies and newsletters aren't what's important in life.
What's important is that I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on.
Well it's more of a mattress than a bed.
And I don't really sleep...
I crash.
And on that note
a C major 7
I crash.
current mood:  enthralled
|
|
|
|
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
|
|
4:03 am - Tonight was the first night I ever missed Jersey
|
I've missed people in Jersey before and I've missed wawa. I've said that Florida sucks and Jersey's better but I never really missed just being home. Tonight me and some friends drove for an hour to get to the beach in Florida. It was around 1am when we got there. I don't know... just being there with the moon, the waves, and that salt smell, I felt like I was back home. And it really made me miss it. It was freezing but I took off my shoes and rolled up my pants to go in the water. I didn't know when I'd be back there so I figured I should enjoy it. That was by far the happiest I've ever been in Florida. Sounds kind of stupid but it's true.
There were some fairly big holes that were made by sea turtles to lay their eggs. You could clearly see the outline of the turtle's head and flippers. The turtles must be gigantic, like 4' accross. I was kind of hoping we'd get to see the eggs hatch, which I assumed were buried in the center, but that didn't happen.
We hung out there for awhile just talking and listening to elliott smith. Seriously good times.
|
|
|
|
Saturday, October 15th, 2005
|
|
2:20 am - Two years, nine months, and four days
|
Meg and I just broke up. For the last week I knew it was going to happen but I never thought it actually would. There wasn't any big fight or anything. We just grew apart. It still doesn't feel real. And I don't know when it will. I guess once I stop making mental lists of all the things I want to tell her about.
I'm not totally sure what to do. What do I do with the pictures of her on my desk? What about the ones on my computer. The ones, that whenever I felt lonely, I would look at. Do I delete them? It almost makes me wish she were cheating on me. Then I could delete them and go on trying to forget her. It almost makes me wish that. Because I'm glad she's still my friend.
The one thing that will help me get over all this, is that in the end, I have no regrets. I'm not going to lie awake tonight and wish I could take back something I said or wish I did something that I didn't do. This would have happened no matter what, and I'm glad it happened now instead of at a time when we'd be living together.
This is the best for both of us.
|
|
|
|
Saturday, August 7th, 2004
|
|
3:54 am - ...nothing could be more further from the truth
|
this is really funny. I think these three minutes of will ferrell is funnier than Anchorman
www.whitehousewest.com
current mood: amused
current music: Move On
|
|
|
|
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
|
|
2:27 am - Amin quen tel' Eldalie
|
I'm rereading the lord of the rings. The first time I read them was in seventh grade. I forgot a lot. The movies are alot different. I think Jackson made all the right decisions though. He needed to cut out a lot from the books and yet still had to make everything fit. I think he did a very good job.
and now I sleep
amin lanta kaima
Tenna' ento lye omenta
current mood: alasse'
current music: Lasta lalaithamin
|
|
|
|
Friday, July 16th, 2004
|
|
12:50 am - sirrus? is that you?
|
I'm going to sleep
Hold my calls
and by the way, I've decided to compose an opus
current mood: Bedraggled
current music: the oneders
|
|
|
|
Thursday, July 8th, 2004
|
|
2:48 am - symphony of the sprite
|
I just beat the game Castlevania: Symphony of the Night for playstation. it's an awesome game. one of my favorites. it's a 2d sidescroller. After I beat that I started another Castlevania game I bought the other day, Lament of Innocence. It's a 3d game for ps2. The thing is, even though LoI has great graphics it doesnt even come close to SotN. My friend Sean and I were talking and we think it's because it takes so much time to do all the character models and lighting and the world and everything else that there isn't any time to make a really good game. In SotN there were so many weapons and secret areas. There are barely any in LoI. All the details and little things is what makes you really get into the game.
It sucks that every game coming out now is 3d. sony and nintendo are releasing 3d handheld game systems next year. they're amazing but I don't want them. It's too soon. I like my GBA alot. The best part is there are great 2d sidescrollers on it. there are 3 castlevanias that would NEVER have been made on a next gen super nvidia/ati system.
in video games today, how it looks is the most important. most people buy games after seeing a short video or screenshots. The game has to look like the newest, smoothest, coolest game out there. the graphics come first and the game comes last. Because, by the time you actually get into the game, the company has your money, so fuck you.
It looks like 2d games are going down real soon. It's a shame. They had a brief revival with the GBA. But that wont last two more years.
sigh
now i'm going to go play ms. pac man
current mood: 2D
current music: Sundown - December Sky
|
|
|
|
Sunday, July 4th, 2004
|
|
3:18 am - fair and balanced
|
Musician's Friend reviews aren't reviews at all. they're just advertisements. I have never once read any negative review in MF. and always at they end they put "so order one today" or something like that.
here's a clip:
"And every one of these metal monsters took me all the way to where I wanted to go and well beyond, right down into the pits of pure adrenaline-pumping, hyperventilating, drooling madness. "
..."Let Musician's Friend make you a fantastic deal on a new E-Series screamer. The neighbors will hate you for it. "
ta da
current mood: thirsty for the blood of my foes
|
|
|
|
Thursday, March 25th, 2004
|
|
6:53 pm - funny: funny funny
|
|
|
Thursday, March 18th, 2004
|
|
11:18 pm - it looks like a big cat of some kind... like a puma
|
I swore I would never get a car... but now I have one. This one 
I need it for when I go to college so my parents are helping me pay for it. It's stick, which means it takes complete concentration to drive. But it's fun
current mood: Talvulanatoratational
|
|
|
|
Wednesday, January 28th, 2004
|
|
11:02 pm - I don't smoke
|
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
|
|
|
10:42 pm - Oh sweet, sweet jello pudding snacks, you are all I eat
|
When I had braces I used to get canker sores. They really hurt but after putting some wax on the braces it didnt bother me anymore. After I got the braces off I still sometimes get canker sores. I've never got more than one at a time before but suddenly I have a bunch, and they hurt. I'm living off ibuprofin right now. I actually went to the doctor about them because I was worried about having more than one for no appearent reason. They did a strep test. I was wondering why they were doing that since my throat didnt hurt. I thought the test was a waste of time but it ended up being positive. So now i'm on antibiotics. Unfortunately i still have the canker sores. I hate them. Listerine is a great invention though. My mouth could really hurt and then I'll rinse with listerine (for awhile). It's pretty damn painful but after wards I feel great. There's barely any pain after that. I wonder why.
I've been getting sick alot lately. My immune system is really low. I don't get enough sleep and I really don't eat great food. I had mono a month or so ago. I think my immune system is still down from that.
current mood: Searing Pain!
|
|
|
|
Monday, December 29th, 2003
|
|
8:52 am - Arigato Gozaimasu Roboto San
|
I'm in Japan!
That is all.
|
|
|
|
Wednesday, November 19th, 2003
|
|
1:03 am - a copy of a copy of a copy
|
I can't sleep.
current mood:  awake
|
|
|
|
Saturday, November 15th, 2003
|
|
5:57 pm - It's in the mail
|
I just ordered that squier I mentioned before. It's going to be fun fixing up
current mood: optimistic
|
|
|
|
Friday, November 14th, 2003
|
|
11:23 pm - Testy
|
HASH(0x8424e40)
What guitar are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I took this quiz back in May. I was a telecaster then. I dont know why i'm different now. I'd rather be a strat though... as if it matters
current mood: Tired
|
|
|
|
|
11:02 pm - damn, good deal
|
|
|
Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
|
|
11:02 pm - Like a phoenix out of the ascher
|
I'm listening to some old songs and riffs me and Josh recorded over a year ago. hanging out and playing instruments was a lot of fun. Me and him had such a similar taste in music. over the passed year we definately diversed in our taste in music. I've been listening to Elliott Smith (RIP) more and more. whereas he went deeper into the darkness that is political hardcore. I dont think we could be in a band together anymore. What sucks is that we played really good together. It was so easy to write stuff. When one of us had the idea the other one would pick up on it so fast and it would just keep on going until a song was written. Though we never really finished a song. ah nostalgia. I still have my Ascher wallpaper as my background.
current mood: nostalgic
current music: Ascher - Leave it all Behind
|
|
|
|
Sunday, June 22nd, 2003
|
|
10:56 pm - if memory serves
|
I just got this program that let's you skin AIM called aimutation. it's pretty cool. i've been working on a skin for it for a couple days. it's the first thing i've ever skinned. i'm curious to see what reviews it gets from deskmod.com http://www.deskmod.com/?show=showskin&skin_id=35849
current mood:  accomplished
current music: Switchfoot - Meant To Live
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
nversage's journal